Life now and then presents us lessons, but we, as a rule, learn them only when we can’t change anything. And although at every step “straws cannot be lodged”, we hope that the collected truths will help you on the romantic path.
1.It is foolish to believe that the partner already knows how dear to us
Do not accept your loved one for granted. Even if you spent the whole eternity together, do not forget to talk about how to appreciate your partner, preferably every day. Use the simplest words for this, for example: “It’s so cool that you remind me to water plants”, “You always cook coffee at first, and then yourself, this is so cute!”
2.Happiness is sometimes more important than right
It is certainly necessary to remember your interests and goals, but it is important to think about the well -being of your couple. The constant desire to prove his case, even if it upset the partner, does not lead to anything good. You are a team, and if one loses one, they lose everything.
3.It is better to be alone than “with anyone”
Remain in a relationship with a partner just in order to avoid loneliness, at least unfair. You both deserve more. Deserve people who will love you and who you will love you. In addition, relationships and even marriage are not a cure for loneliness.
4.Choose a person for what he is now.
… and not based on how he can become under your sensitive guidance. Do not hope that you can change your partner, “make a person out of him” – a successful, rich, exemplary family man or a beautiful housewife. Sooner or later, everything will end with the fact that the illusions that you yourself have built will collapse.
5.Partner will not make you happy
If you are unhappy with life, the partner will not be able to fix this, because happiness is always a product of internal work. Another person cannot and should not make you happy. He is not to blame for the fact that you are sad, unless he treats you badly.
6.It is impossible to make another love us
No matter how you try, this is not in our power: people do not choose who to love them. So, if the partner fell out of love and wants to be with someone else, he needs to be released. Yes, it will hurt, but it is better than spending years in desperate attempts to return love.
7.Appearance, ambitions and income level will not help build long -term relationships
This is a banal truth, but many continue to choose partners, relying exclusively on external qualities. And it would be worth diving deep into respect, the ability to communicate and negotiate, willingness to grow.
8.You either grow together, or diverge and grow on your own
You are not the same person as ten years ago, and ten years later you will also be different. Therefore, if your partner is not interested in growth, you are most likely not on the way. Take a step towards someone who thinks wider and is not ready to stop there.
9.Love is a choice, not just a feeling
Yes, you cannot force someone to love us, but the truth is that the intensity of passions weakens over the years. And the fact that we have been left with the same person for decades is the result of our choice.
10.One love for healthy relationships is not enough
The trust and mutual respect is no less important, which is manifested in how we behave with a partner. Without this, the union is hardly a test of time.
eleven.Even while in a relationship, you need to devote time to yourself
Go to “dates” with you. If you stop doing this and direct the whole stream of your love to a partner, you will soon stop being the person in whom he once fell in love with.
12.Your needs are your responsibility
The partner is not obliged to guess what you want or need. Learn to talk about it.
13.You can not agree in everything, but respect each other
It’s normal to look at some things differently. So even more interesting: firstly, new topics for discussions are born, and secondly, you see each other in a new way. The main thing in this matter is to respect someone else’s point of view.
14.You need to invest in a relationship every day
Relations are not something global. This is a million small things, moments, actions, words. They must be raised as a baby or flower, and do not forget about careful care.
15.The concentration of attention on problems does not lead to anything good
Especially if you only do what you indicate to your partner to his mistakes and misses, but do not try to help. Start talking about problems only when you have options for solving them.
16.To love someone means to accept
And, as already mentioned earlier, not to try to change – even for the sake of “his good”. If such thoughts do not leave you, perhaps you just chose the wrong person.
17.Any relationship is valuable
We are cunning, saying that “gave someone the best years of life” or “in vain spent time on him”. In almost any relationship, there are not only bad ones, but also good points. In addition, any union presents us with valuable lessons. But this does not mean that it should not be terminated, especially if you are unhappy in it.
18.The partner will not satisfy all your needs
Psychotherapist Esther Perel is convinced: many of us are waiting for the partner to “close” all our needs at once. Will become for us the best friend, and a lover, and those with whom you can share your favorite hobby. Will give us a sense of safety and stimulate us intellectually … This hope is utopian, so you should surround yourself with people from whom you can receive all this separately.
19.Real love is not at all the same as in the cinema
Drama, jealousy, tears, treason, stormy scandals and hot reconciliations – all this is suitable for screens. In life, this suggests that relations with a partner are not too healthy and you should at least think about it.
20.Do not compare your alliance with others
Do not focus on those whose relationships you see only on the “presentation” side: bloggers, celebrities, even our friends rarely show how they actually live. Instead of looking back at others and envy their harmony, focus on your relationship.